communication

Over-parenting was often called “helicopter parenting”, as these parents hover over their children to make sure nothing goes wrong. Research shows that today’s parents spend more time per day parenting than in the 1980s. Parents are protective by nature but some consistently intervene to help children avoid any kind of failure. Lawnmower parents go to whatever lengths necessary to prevent their child from having to face any adversity, struggle or failure. Instead of preparing their children with the skills to cope with the challenges they are likely to face, they mow obstacles down so kids won’t face them in the first place. Media often refer to children of such parenting as “cotton wool” or “bubble wrap” kids.  In To Kill…

During a conflict some of our behaviours are helpful and some hinder the resolution of the issue. What are the helpful interactions during a conflict? Let’s work this out – there comes a time when you need to remove yourself from a hurtful dynamic. If we become stuck in a pattern of avoidance this only communicates ongoing rejection and disrespect and can lead to the situation festering. It is important to consider the costs of the status quo continuing and the possible benefits of change. When we communicate a genuine desire to work things out, this changes the tone of the conversation and communicates goodwill and hope for the future. At our best, we search for solutions that take everyone’s…

Dealing with difficult or demanding parents can certainly add to the stress of working in schools. Whilst staff in schools have the needs of multiple students to consider, most parents are only advocating for a small number of students, their own children. That’s understandable! Keeping the scale of the problem in perspective is important. What is known as the 80 / 20 rule generally applies. 80% of problems will come from 20% of parents. In most cases an even larger percentage of issues will come from an even smaller percentage of parents. This is not intended in any way to trivialise the issues. However keeping it in perspective is important. Whilst dealing with difficult parents may take a lot of…

A teacher’s most valuable teaching asset is their voice.  It is through the voice that the teacher communicates, educates and instructs. Without the use of the voice, the teacher has lost the painting brush to create their art work. Research is revealing that many teachers are struggling with their most basic tool to comfortably get through their teaching day. There are many demands placed on a teacher’s voice; constant talking, pushing the voice, talking with background noise, disciplining students, raising the voice to be heard, yelling over long distances eg in the playground, feelings of stress, frustration, low energy and tiredness will tense the vocal apparatus and  when constantly talking,  restricts vocal ease. Some of the symptoms teachers experience include; …

Technology advances in society and particularly in education have brought about some amazing advantages and should be making our lives easier. Unfortunately, these gains can come at a cost for many of us – our work can now seep effortlessly into nearly every corner of our life. Most school staff own and use a personal smart phone to communicate and be contactable in their professional role, as well as accessing a work laptop or desktop computer, often a tablet… and usually run more devices at home too! While our digital connectivity can enhance our productivity and bring about positive outcomes, it can also very quickly increase our stress and anxiety, affecting both our personal balance and ability to perform. Not…

Schools are busy, people places. At times we will need to work with people we don’t get along with. In part 2 we share more tips for communicating with people we find difficult to get on with. Get specific Tell them exactly what they do that you do not like, exactly what you would prefer, and exactly what you or both of you could do to help. There is too much room for misinterpretation when you use vague words. Avoid giving your opinions, interpretations, or generalisations when you are having communication problems. They are likely to be misunderstood or seen in a negative light during these times. Stick with the recent past when you talk about problems It is harder…

I get really frustrated when I find myself surrounded by negative people, who appear to be filled with doom and gloom. I feel at risk of being buried in their negativity. You know the people, they light up a room….when they leave! Recently I was made aware of the concept of operating ABOVE or BELOW the line of life. Below the line all we hear are denial, excuses or blame. “We’re doing pretty well, considering!” “These students are from low socio-economic families; they aren’t real bright!” “Communication at this school is terrible, I never know what’s going on around here!” “We’d get better results if we had more money for teacher aide time or resources.” Whilst these statements might be…