Communication

There are many reasons why a parent conference can be difficult. Sometimes the content is difficult to talk about. Sometimes the student is difficult to deal with in class. Sometimes our own lack of comfort causes the difficulty. Sometimes the parent is difficult. Often there are misunderstandings that make the conference difficult.   Controlling our eye contact during a difficult parent conference is critical to our success. The following are the four stages of a Difficult Parent Conference, with a commentary on the non-verbals. Our goal is to have a piece of paper eg mark book, anecdotal notes, incident report or assessment piece, represent the source of the problem. This preserves the relationship with the parent.   Parent’s stage and…

Parent conferences are a busy and demanding time for teachers, especially where we are dealing with complex issues, working with difficult people or delivering ‘bad’ news. Effective communication is vital in building trust. Our use of non-verbals is important Take care of yourself Never be alone in the building for parent conferences. Prepare well, ducks in a row, with written documentation of issues. Breathe well. Take several deep breaths before the conference. During the conference, stop and take two deep breaths any time things are tense. (also see dealing with “a big cat” below) Show that you care about them and their child Let them know you understand how much they care about their child. You all want what is…

Over-parenting was often called “helicopter parenting”, as these parents hover over their children to make sure nothing goes wrong. Research shows that today’s parents spend more time per day parenting than in the 1980s. Parents are protective by nature but some consistently intervene to help children avoid any kind of failure. Lawnmower parents go to whatever lengths necessary to prevent their child from having to face any adversity, struggle or failure. Instead of preparing their children with the skills to cope with the challenges they are likely to face, they mow obstacles down so kids won’t face them in the first place. Media often refer to children of such parenting as “cotton wool” or “bubble wrap” kids.  In To Kill…

During a conflict some of our behaviours are helpful and some hinder the resolution of the issue. What are the helpful interactions during a conflict? Let’s work this out – there comes a time when you need to remove yourself from a hurtful dynamic. If we become stuck in a pattern of avoidance this only communicates ongoing rejection and disrespect and can lead to the situation festering. It is important to consider the costs of the status quo continuing and the possible benefits of change. When we communicate a genuine desire to work things out, this changes the tone of the conversation and communicates goodwill and hope for the future. At our best, we search for solutions that take everyone’s…

Dealing with difficult or demanding parents can certainly add to the stress of working in schools. Whilst staff in schools have the needs of multiple students to consider, most parents are only advocating for a small number of students, their own children. That’s understandable! Keeping the scale of the problem in perspective is important. What is known as the 80 / 20 rule generally applies. 80% of problems will come from 20% of parents. In most cases an even larger percentage of issues will come from an even smaller percentage of parents. This is not intended in any way to trivialise the issues. However keeping it in perspective is important. Whilst dealing with difficult parents may take a lot of…

A teacher’s most valuable teaching asset is their voice.  It is through the voice that the teacher communicates, educates and instructs. Without the use of the voice, the teacher has lost the painting brush to create their art work. Research is revealing that many teachers are struggling with their most basic tool to comfortably get through their teaching day. There are many demands placed on a teacher’s voice; constant talking, pushing the voice, talking with background noise, disciplining students, raising the voice to be heard, yelling over long distances eg in the playground, feelings of stress, frustration, low energy and tiredness will tense the vocal apparatus and  when constantly talking,  restricts vocal ease. Some of the symptoms teachers experience include; …