Be Careful About the Assumptions You Make
According to Stephen MR Covey we see another person’s behaviour and make assumptions about their intentions. If we think their intentions are good, we are more likely to trust them. If we are suspicious of their intentions or believe that their intentions are selfish and not in our interests, we are less likely to trust them. However, the same behaviour can be interpreted different ways. It all depends on how the person ‘reads’ the other person. Emotional intelligence is important. Research shows that ‘accurate person perception’ or being able to ‘read’ people is very beneficial. However, the vast majority of us are not as good at reading people as we think we are. Far from it! University of Chicago professor,…
Clearing Your Head When Feeling Overwhelmed
As a teenager I sustained a life-threatening injury when, during a match, a hockey ball struck me in the head and damaged my temporal lobe, the area of the brain responsible for auditory perception, speech and language and memory. To help me through school and university, I needed to develop methods to reduce excessive cognitive loading and instill strategies to aid in my decision-making processes. To do this I had to develop simple strategies to clear my head of overwhelm and to simplify complex information into ways that were easy for me to digest and remember. Out of my challenges, came ways that I now use with others to help them simplify the complexity of their work. If I attempt…
Top 5 Tips for Feeling Happy
There is a clear link between our health and our happiness. We know that the happier we are, the healthier we feel. The more that we can manage the stress in our lives and experience happiness, the more resistant we are to ill health. Working in schools means working with people. At times people can be unpredictable and difficult to deal with, especially when our reserves are running low. This can create challenging situations. Ultimately it is how we respond to these situations that has an impact on our stress levels and our happiness. We do have choices. Recognising that we have the power to choose how much things affect us is the first step in increasing our own happiness.…
Life Is Not the Way It Is Supposed to Be- Part 2
In part one I paraphrased a quote from Virginia Satir “Life is not the way it is supposed to be. It is the way it is. It’s what we chose to do with it , that makes the difference.“ So, how serene are you? Do you ever have a feeling of equilibrium or a deep sense of contentment? (mind you I have not in the past few months!!) What events – and more importantly thoughts – disturb your equilibrium? Are you able to find peace in the chaos? Have you had a situation in the past where you have just accepted things as they are and worked with that situation as it evolved? Do you listen to intuition or hunches…
Life Is Not the Way It Is Supposed to Be- Part 1
I found this fantastic quote and thought ‘wow’! “Life is not the way it is supposed to be. It is the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.“ Virginia Satir Of course! But often it’s the most obvious things that we lose sight of in this age of super uncertainty, fear and stress. These last two years has been one of tumultuous personal change and fear for most people. I think that’s why this quote had such an impact on me. There is an element of acceptance or surrender that is necessary for us to flow with the tidal waves of life as opposed to the struggle involved in battling the…
Hooks of Escalation
Highly effective teachers operate through influence rather than through power. They focus on building positive relationships with students and reduce the need to exercise power to control students. The nonverbals are completely different. What do the nonverbals look like when operating from influence? You approach the student from the side. You have your eyes on the student work. You are further from the student. You are more non-verbal. Your breathing is low. What do the nonverbals look like when operating from power? You come directly up from the front. You make sure that you have your eyes on the student. You are physically close. You are more verbal, especially a strident, loud voice. Your breathing is really high. Some students…
Do You Have Piles?
Are you one of these people with piles? No not the medical condition! What I mean is piles of paper on your desk, the windowsill, the floor etc? Maybe you even have them on the bench at home or in your home office? You know the piles I am talking about. They are the, “I’ll do that later” piles. These piles drain your energy. Just looking at them exhausts you. Even when you are focused on other things, these piles pollute your sub-conscious. They distract your attention and make you feel guilty about the things that you haven’t done or still need to get to. Our work can seem never ending. Have you ever turned up to work, looked at…
The R Word – Report Writing Stress
It’s that time of year for all teachers where the blood pressure and workload are rising, assessments are being marked, the students are tiring by the minute and I really need to make a start on my….(gasp) REPORTS! Here are some things you might like to try as you write your reports this year so that you do not need the first week of holidays to recover: 1) Create (and stick to) a simple timetable for completion so that the workload is spread out over a few weeks and you are not leaving them ALL until the last minute and have to pull an all-nighter (not mentioning any names here but you know who you are). I write mine down…
Developing Intrinsic Motivation
Motivating and engaging students is challenging. Edward Deci, one of the premier researchers and authorities on intrinsic motivation, wrote: “The proper question is not, how can people motivate others, but rather, how can people create the conditions within which others will motivate themselves?” When we are trying to motivate students—often unsuccessfully—the energy is coming from us. When we help students discover their own motivation and challenge them to act on it, more of the energy is coming from them. In fact, this perspective is in keeping with the original roots of the word motivation. It comes from “motive” which, in the 15th century, meant “that which inwardly moves a person to behave a certain way.” I advocate considering the difference…
Giving Engaging Feedback
It often amazes me that people in the workplace are reluctant to give each other feedback. On the one hand, I understand that some people hold back on giving constructive feedback as they worry about how the other person will respond. But on the other hand, inaction leaves performance problems go unaddressed and build over time. Even when constructive feedback is given, it is not always done well. I find that people are not giving enough positive feedback either – due to either not appreciating the importance of recognition or getting stuck in unnecessary paperwork. Here are five keys you can use to get a better result from any feedback you give. The first is that feedback is always better…
Would You Rather Be “Right” Or “Happy”?
In his book ‘Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff’, author Richard Carlson notes that one of the most important questions you can ever ask yourself is, “Do I want to be ‘right’ – or do I want to be happy?” According to Carlson, many times the two are mutually exclusive! At times we can waste our time, energy and goodwill by endeavouring to prove we are right and almost as importantly, the other person is wrong. The need to always be right alienates people. It encourages them to be defensive and in turn requires us to continue to assert and defend our position. Whilst some aspects of education are clear cut, many are not. People by their very nature have their…
Fixed and Growth Mindsets
Our mindset impacts on our effectiveness and ultimately our success according to acclaimed researcher Dr Carol Dweck. Through her research Dweck discovered that people have different mindsets about their talents and abilities and that these mindsets make a big difference. Some people believe that their talents and abilities are fixed traits – they have a certain amount and that’s that. Dweck calls this a fixed mindset. But other people have a growth mindset. They believe that their talents and abilities can be developed through hard work and perseverance. In her excellent book, ‘Mindset’, Dr Dweck explains that how people view themselves has a significant impact on their response to challenges. People with a fixed mindset often shy away from challenges.…